Revise My Essay And Yahoo Answers

Proofread my college essay?

I need more people to proofread my essay for college. I'm not gonna put the prompt- I just need grammar and word flow checked. Thank you!!!! Thank you!!!! Thank you!!!! The sun was hot, but the asphalt on our bare feet was even hotter. We were glad to have the water splash us, along with the soap suds... show more I need more people to proofread my essay for college. I'm not gonna put the prompt- I just need grammar and word flow checked. Thank you!!!! Thank you!!!! Thank you!!!!



The sun was hot, but the asphalt on our bare feet was even hotter. We were glad to have the water splash us, along with the soap suds and dirt coming off of the cars. We were at a carwash- not as spectators but actually washing all the filthy vehicles. I was so proud of that day. Not only had all my friends agreed to help me fundraise for clean water in poverty-stricken nations, but so many people had showed up to support us, too. I believed that if someone cared enough about something, they could truly make a difference. A carwash is one of the many ways in which I like to make my surroundings and the whole world a better place.
I arrived at the idea of a car wash quite easily. One afternoon, I was bored with just sitting at home thinking about all the help I could provide in the future. I realized that I could help make people’s lives better at that very moment. I ransacked my brain for a worthy idea and came to the decision of a car wash for clean water and sanitation in underprivileged countries. After I had decided on a car wash, I called many friends and asked them to help me make this event possible. Most of them said that they’d be able to help and some also brought important supplies. My idea to help had now become reality.
Once all preparations had been made, the special day had come. My friends and I waited with sponges, hoses, and buckets, ready for customers. Then, the numerous customers showed up. We spent the whole scorching day washing car after car. The longer we scrubbed, the more accomplished we felt. We knew we were helping to improve someone’s life. In the middle of this commotion, a woman named Stephanie came to have her car washed. Stephanie said that the Rotary International could help me put all this fundraising to use. I accepted her proposal and donated the whole day’s income through the Rotary. Stephanie helped me decide to fund the construction of drinking and washing stations at three elementary schools in the Philippines. I sent all of the proceeds off for use and waited.
After a few months of waiting, I received something. This something wasn’t a package, but an email. The email contained the results I had hoped for the day I decided to have a car wash. I had been sent twelve pictures. These pictures were of children at the water stations I had funded. As I sat looking at the smiling children’s faces, I was so incredibly proud. I was proud of how all these people had come together to help children that none of us knew. I was proud of how many people believed in making a difference just like I do. Now, I know that I would like to bring this belief with me to Gainesville as a student at the University of Florida.

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Revise Essay?!?!? Please Help?

Can someone help revise and correct my essay please email: pacma7v805@yahoo.com Living in California my whole life I always wanted to visit the big city, New York. It’s great to know the NYU offers opportunities of school and life that I been looking for in a college. The environment around the school fits... show more Can someone help revise and correct my essay please

email: pacma7v805@yahoo.com


Living in California my whole life I always wanted to visit the big city, New York. It’s great to know the NYU offers opportunities of school and life that I been looking for in a college. The environment around the school fits me perfectly; I really don’t like small and quiet areas, which leads me away from many colleges in the east. My first impressions were just the outside of NYU but I also had to keep in mind the inside. I’m looking to go into technology, at first glance NYU didn’t offer my intended major but looking through the details I noticed NYU has branches of different schools. NYU’s Polytechnic Institute offers my intended major in technology. Seeing the diverse and range of opportunities, I feel NYU fits what I have searched in a college. NYU has everything from life to education, it checks off my list. I hope to pursue my interest in technology in NYU.


Since a small age technology has always been fascinating. My interest started when I got my Nintendo when I nine. The system was interesting but it fascinating was how it worked. I looked at the game cartridge and all I saw was the shiny metal and wonder how I was able to play Super Mario. At a small age I couldn’t figure out how it worked but I wanted to understand it. My desire to comprehend stuck through my life. Even till today I go into stores or read articles are the latest electronics, seeing the new innovations in software and hardware. When the iPhone came out, it was the first touch phone. I blew everybody mind and when I used it for the first time I had the mind puzzling questions when I got my Nintendo. After the iPhone many companies got into touch phones. Some of them were great and others were clunky. I am somewhat of a critic I see little things that could make devices a better and smoother experience. Becoming an engineer in technology would not only satisfy this engineering bug but also allow me to innovate my thoughts and ideas into a revolutionary electronic.


A computer has endless possibilities, how can it not be the most intriguing. Most people just see the computer has way to use Facebook and YouTube, however I see it as a way for people to develop in different aspects. The computer could be a TV, newspaper, or canvas and could appeal to anybody. Personally on spare time I learned how to use editing software because I enjoy expressing my creativity. I watched tutorials how to use Photoshop and read articles on tips on details with in the program, the computer was personal teacher and book. I eventually developed skill and started creating business cards and designs for people. It amazes me that all this knowledge and self-expression came from a computer. My involvement in software was very significant; it allowed me to develop a stronger interest in technology. Seeing that technology can appeal to anybody is intriguing on its own.

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